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Last Updated on by Noni May
We are in an age of self-improvement. While we are told that we need to improve our self-confidence and have numerous techniques at our disposal there is one sufficient to all that so many of us feel that we cannot do, for fear of looking weak. Asking for help is one of those things that we may feel to be a sign of weakness, or that we are betraying our ability somewhat. But when we avoid asking for help, we are doing ourselves a disservice. So, why should we ask for help? And what can we do to ensure that we build this skill up?
There are moments in life where help is inevitable. We end up finding ourselves in situations that we have no skill or knowledge to navigate. Sometimes it comes in the form of legal help like injury attorneys so you can go through the process, but sometimes it’s something more tangible. Psychological help, addiction treatment, or various therapies can prove to be a way for you to arm yourself with certain skills in life, the skills you wouldn’t have had unless you ask for help. There will be a time when you don’t have a choice in the matter, and life will point out to you that you can’t do it alone.
When you help someone, you know it feels good, so, get into the mindset of benefiting the helper. It gives them the opportunity to get you out of a jam, but also, it gives them a chance to truly make a difference. This is something we don’t think about. When we think about asking for help, it’s all to do with us and how we feel. But it is a win-win situation for both sides.
Because we believe asking for help is a sign of weakness, we don’t do it until we really need it. But, when we take so much pride in being self-sufficient, we believe it to be a strength, and we get the impression that it becomes the basis on which we should build our lives upon. But the fact of the matter is that when we are doing our best to be self-sufficient in every single way, asking for help becomes more difficult but also, we end up being so stubborn that we drill ourselves into the ground because we think that we are going to be weaker by asking for help. But you are doing yourself a disservice. It’s also been dishonest with yourself. Because the fact of the matter is, we get help whether we ask for it or not. A lot of people will offer their help without you asking, and you will accept it, but you won’t admit that it is “help.”
Learning to develop this skill is a lifelong process. There are ways to ask for help that doesn’t just make you look like a person on their last legs. This is predominantly the major issue in asking for help. But when you are looking for help, there is no weakness in showing that you’ve tried everything. People are more inclined to help others when the person in question has helped themselves first. You also need to get into the habit of explaining what you exactly need in no uncertain terms. There is no point in making someone guess what you need, and while it’s nice to have someone spontaneously help you, there is no point in you being shy about it. One of the big issues in developing this skill is that we think we are losing some sense of self-preservation by asking for help. But when we do ask for help at the very outset it could be something very little. Sometimes we just need a little bit of prodding in the right direction, and off we go. And learning to ask for help in life comprises of various requests, big and small. But also, when you are looking to ask for help, giving help can be a key method. By helping more than you tend to ask for, it becomes easier to ask for help. This also means that people will be more likely to respond to your requests.
It’s not a sign of weakness and impact on your pride by asking for help, it’s because one of the significant tools to better ourselves. It can arm us with additional confidence, and there is a confidence in asking for help.
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